What Happened to Bess?

This series of blog posts will cover some of the stories not covered in my new book, Even If I Perish.

In 1940, numerous upper-class women and children had already fled from war-torn England to Canada and the United States, but many who wished to leave could not afford to. The Children’s Overseas Reception Board (CORB) was formed and tasked with running the scheme, and 211,000 children applied. Among them were 15-year old Bess Walder and her 10-year-old brother, Louis, from Kentish Town in northwest London.

Every day, Bess watched for the postman from the top of her family’s house. With so many bombed-out buildings in her line of sight, it was easy to see him on his route, and she made a deal with him. “I’ll be watching every day,” she said. “If you have an envelope addressed to my parents and it says, On His Majesty’s Service, will you wave it at me as you come down the street?”

Although the friendly man called her naughty and told her he couldn’t do that, one morning in late summer, he did. As he picked his way through the bomb-damaged pavement, he waved a large brown manila envelope. Bess and Louis tore down the stairs and out into the street. Knowing better than to open the envelope, they took it to their mother, who tucked it into her apron and continued with breakfast preparations.

When she finally relented to her children’s impatient begging, she scanned the letter and told them they’d been accepted. They were going to Canada. The pair exploded into cheers of “Hooray,” not once considering how their reaction might pain their mother’s heart. For them, it seemed like one big happy adventure.

Bess and Louis didn’t have long to wait. By September 9, children from all over England were headed for Liverpool where they would gather and from where they’d embark. On September 12, 90 “seavacuees” between the ages of five and 15 and ten adult escorts found themselves all in the same boat: the SS City of Benares, a luxury liner. The children reveled in the sumptuous surroundings, first-class accommodation, and food more varied and abundant than most had ever experienced. Bess quickly made friends with a girl named Beth, from Liverpool.

Tragedy Strikes

After the children had gone to bed on September 17, a torpedo from a German U-boat found its target and breached the hull of the City of Benares. The ship sank within 30 minutes. Beth and Bess found themselves in the same lifeboat, which quickly capsized in the horrendous storm. Soaking wet and freezing cold, the girls and a handful of other passengers managed to clasp their hands together across the overturned boat’s keel. The two girls hung onto each other and encouraged each other through the longest night of their lives. Each time a wave lifted the lifeboat to its crest, they caught a glimpse of the other’s face, then prepared for the slam their bodies would receive against the boat’s side when the wave came down again. Over and over, the girls fought the temptation to simply let go and surrender their bodies to the sea.

When morning finally came, they discovered to their horror that only one other passenger remained hanging from the boat, and he appeared to be passed out or deceased. To their great disappointment, no rescue ship was in sight. The girls continued to encourage each other. “I’m all right, Bess, are you all right?”

“Yes, I’m all right. Are you all right, Beth?” Bess’s biggest concern was for her brother, Louis. She had no idea which lifeboat he’d gotten into, if any. Was he dead or alive?

All through that day, the girls hung on, their hands numb as they curled around the ropes of the boat’s spine. They promised each other they’d hang on, no matter what. Daylight was beginning to fade again when they spotted their rescuers. The HMS Hurricane had been dispatched to the location of the sunken ship. When sailors spotted the overturned boat, they rowed to it in a smaller boat. One of the sailors climbed onto the lifeboat’s keel. The girls’ hands were so tightly clenched that the rope had to be cut to release their hands. As much as they wanted to let go, they could not. The sailor rescued Bess first. Once she was in the boat, he went back for Beth.

With a broken leg, many lacerations, and still worried about Louis, Bess had trouble resting in her bed onboard the rescue ship. When a sailor walked into sickbay with a surprise—Louis, alive and well—she felt she could endure anything.

Beth and Bess remained best friends and eventually became related through marriage. I’ll tell Beth’s side of the story next time.

Of Fear and Aging

 In 1986, my father died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 67 years and 15 days. Today, my husband turns that exact age. 

People kept saying Dad died too young, but to me, he was old. Sure, I grieved for him and wished he could have stayed with us longer. But I figured he’d lived his life. More significant to me was that 27 was too young to lose one’s father.

My perspective has changed. I mark this day in my husband’s life, knowing I’m only a year behind him. I recognize that I could lose him, or he could lose me—as though that hasn’t always been true. I ask myself which I’d prefer—to go first or to be left alone—as though the choice is mine. Some might say I do have a choice, and in today’s world, I suppose I do. That’s disturbing.

I’m not afraid of death. The aging process, however, I’m not crazy about. These days, my siblings and I are observing our mother’s growing confusion and forgetfulness. Though her body remains healthy for 93 (and for that we feel grateful), her short-term memory is almost nonexistent. This requires more patience than I ever needed with my children to answer the same questions repeatedly. I fear the same happening to my husband, and/or to me. I suspect the odds of dementia happening to at least one of us are probably close to a hundred percent. How loving and patient will I be when it’s in my own house, my own bed, my own brain? And that doesn’t even factor in the long list of other maladies that can cause a long, slow, painful decline leading to our last breath. Modern Science has given us longer life expectancy without the quality of life to match. We’re all living longer, but does anyone truly want to? I’d rather die “much too young,” thank you very much.

Such fear-filled thinking can make me spiral down all too quickly—until I turn to God’s word. He is not the author of fear. His words remind me that each day is a gift from Him, with purpose in it regardless of my circumstances. With Himself in it, regardless of my weaknesses. He’s got me through every difficult and heartbreaking day I’ve known until now, so why would that change? He tells me my future is secure, I am His for all time and beyond time. That no power can withhold my inheritance in heaven or my security in Him. So, no matter what comes my way—whether caring for another or becoming the dependent one—He will never let go of my hand. He will give me the grace and endurance to do whatever I’m called upon to do, when I need it and not before.

With this knowledge, I can live today with purpose and abundance. As I walk in obedience to Him, focused on whatever lies before me in the moment—including the interruptions caused by my own or others’ human frailties—I can trust Him to be my strength and guide until my journey here on earth is done.

II Corinthians 12:9

 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’”

 I Peter 1:4

 “In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade—kept in heaven for you.”

 Psalm 37:23-24

 “If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.”

 

War Brides, Part 1: Embarassing Misunderstandings

His uniform, clean and polished for a wedding.

During World War II, Canadian servicemen spent more time away from home than any other nationals—some as long as six years. While British soldiers saw action beginning in 1939, however, the Canadians who were shipped over as early as 1940 remained primarily in England until 1943. This gave them plenty of time to find English girlfriends, and, in many cases, wives. 

Nearly 48,000 women from Britain and Europe immigrated to Canada to begin new lives with their Canadian husbands—often without their husbands and some with young children. While some left their husbands behind, still fighting in Europe, other women were left behind to wait after the war when their husbands were shipped home. In each case, the adjustments to be made were enormous.

Their stories are fascinating, astonishing, and often humorous.

More than one young woman described instances of extreme embarrassment when naïve Canadian boyfriends handed them money in public places, not understanding how this act appeared to onlookers. In one case, the soldier had offered to pay for their tram ride. Not being familiar with British currency, he reached in his pocket, pulled out a handful of change, and held it out. “Here,” he told his date. “Take what I owe.”

In another case, the embarrassment surrounding their leave-taking nearly ended the relationship after a week. Betty was seeing Ken’s train off at the station. As an afterthought, Ken handed her money in clear view of all the other troops, asking if she could get his civilian shoes repaired while he was away. Though she wanted to die on the spot, Betty forgave Ken his faux pas and their lovely courtship continued when he returned.

Connie Robitaille’s Canadian husband, Roger, had been sent home while Connie stayed behind in England, awaiting word that she could join him. When a puzzling letter arrived from Roger, Connie shared it with her friend. Roger had written to say his brother was getting married. “There’s to be a bridal shower here, so everything needs to be clean as there’ll be a lot of women here.”

Connie and her friend certainly knew what a shower was, but they’d never heard of a bridal shower. The only conclusion they could reach about this odd Canadian custom was that the bride-to-be must be required to take a shower in front of all the other women.

“Aren’t you glad you were married over here?” Her friend asked.

Connie surely was.

More next time.