I saw a recipe online for
“Pistachio Lush” and decided to make it for our family’s Easter dinner. Here
are the steps you must follow if you want yours to turn out as yummy as mine.
1.
Go to the Co-op first thing Saturday morning. It’s a
long weekend, so they’re busy. But that’s OK because you’ve brought your list
for the entire week, including the special dessert. Find everything you need
except the pistachio pudding mix. They are out.
2.
Motor over to Sobeys. It’s a long weekend, so they’re
busy, but that’s OK. Find two packages of the pudding mix, stand in line, check
out, and drive home.
3.
Put away all the groceries.
4.
Read through the Pistachio Lush recipe again. Notice
the instructions say to mix two cups of whipped topping with cream cheese. Further
down, it says to spread “the remaining whipped topping” over the top of the
pistachio pudding layer. You’re no math whiz, but you know there will be no
whipped topping remaining because you bought a 500 ml container, like the
recipe said. Well, technically, it said 16 oz, which is two cups. All the same thing. Get irked.
5.
Find the online recipe and leave a comment, pointing
out this discrepancy.
6.
Get out the butter so you can at least start on the
graham wafer crust. Smell the butter. Oooh. When’s the last time you used butter?
It doesn’t smell so good, but that’s OK. This might be a good way to use it up,
and if not, there’s more in the freezer. Stick it in the microwave to melt.
7.
Pull out the box of graham wafer crumbs you just bought
at the store. Discover they are not crumbs, but whole crackers. Yes, you could
smash them into crumbs yourself. But then you’ll be left with two-thirds of a
box of graham wafers which will sit in your pantry for six years until you
finally throw them out. If you leave the box unopened, at least you can take it
to next month’s food drive at church. Get even more irked.
8.
Take the butter out of the microwave to discover it
smells worse than ever. You should also now be more irked than ever. Toss out
the butter and forget the whole thing. Your family can eat the store-bought
pies you grabbed as back-up and be none the wiser.
9.
Take a nap. While napping, remember that you forgot to
buy colored napkins for the Easter table. Since you’ll need to go to the store
for those anyway, you might as well buy the whipped topping and graham crumbs
so you can go ahead and make that Lush.
10. Decide
on Walmart, where you can get everything. It’s a long weekend, so they’re busy.
They are nearly out of parking spots and completely out of whipped topping.
Grab a package of pink napkins and a bag of graham crumbs, wait in line, and check
out. Discover that someone has hemmed in your car between theirs and a snow
bank. Perform some death-defying maneuvers and carry on.
11. Consider
that the boys may not be crazy about the pink napkins and maybe you should find
a second color. Stop at Dollarama. It’s a long weekend, so they’re busy. Not
only that, it’s the first time you’ve been inside since they rearranged the
whole store. Feel completely disoriented. Find a package of bright green
napkins, wait in line, check out.
12. Walk
to Sobeys. Grab some whipped topping, wait in line, check out. Drive home.
13. Prepare
the recipe according to directions. Place in the fridge until time to serve.
The dessert was a hit. I
figured I better document all this so I can be sure to repeat it next time.
Otherwise, it might not turn out.
No comments:
Post a Comment