Out of nothing but sincerest compassion for all the brave, deserving souls who stoically face their fears of flying, sunburn, and bugs to leave our secure homeland and expose themselves to cultural and language barriers, I bring you...
An Ode to a Snow Bird
If you're tried and true Canadian,
You're surely not Barbadian
For winter here is beautiful while theirs is very hot.
They suffer long on sandy beaches,
Sip cool drinks and eat fresh peaches
While home in Manitoba, we most certainly do not.
Poor souls in those warm temperatures
Need never brave acclimatures
Nor feel the thrill of habits and traditions we hold dear.
We scrape our windshields, shovel snow,
And listen to the cold winds blow
While they can only pine away and wish that they were here.
Those stranded in the tropical
Are simply without principle
Enticing good Canadians to join their misery.
But those of us who stay behind
To battle winters most unkind
Will never be deceived by their absurd chicanery.
You might think that I'm delusional
But trust me, it's illusional
To think a warmer climate is the answer to your prayer.
The mighty land of ice and snow
And bundling up from head to toe
Trumps unending lounging in some awkward pool-side chair.
It's not that I'm the jealous type,
Or that I'm prone to snip and gripe,
Or feel resentment building toward my snowbird friends.
I'd gladly take their place, you see,
So they could find out just like me
How fun it is to holiday where winter never ends!