TV or Not TV?

     Folks are surprised when I say we don't have a TV. Sometimes their eyes glaze over, or they look at me like I'm an alien. I then explain we do have A television. It's just there's no cable, no satellite, no farmer vision. It's only good for watching movies or my daily torture with Jillian.

     It's not like we never have. Although we've never actually gone out and purchased a TV, we've had no less than six of them handed down to us over the years and we'd watch whatever the rabbit ears would bring us. One summer, we broke down and got cable so I'd have something to watch while recovering from surgery. The summer Olympics were on and it was awesome. After we canceled the cable, the company was in no hurry to unplug us so we just kept watching, convinced it would suddenly go black in the middle of some heart-thumping movie moment.

     Then we moved. Almost two years ago now, and we haven't caved in and got cable yet.

     It's not like I don't miss it. I liked having the news on while cooking supper, or snuggling down with a blanket and hot tea on a frosty Friday night to watch something mindless after a long work day. I confess I enjoyed being told what not to wear and rooting for my favorite Americans/Canadians/Brits who had talent.

     It's not like we never will. It's just one of those living-within-your-means kind of things. One more way to cut expenses. It's also sort of a protest thing, I admit. When you grow up with "free" TV, there's something about having to pay every month that grates on me. I fear I'd have it on all the time, just to get my money's worth. And who wants to waste time like that? I have a column to write, for goodness sake!

     It's not like I don't feel out of the loop when other people start talking about shows I've never heard of or what's going on in the world. I should probably be more aware.

     It's not like there aren't plenty of opportunities. Weekly, there's a flyer in our mailbox pushing the latest and greatest bargain on bundled cable, phone, and internet. For a time. Then the real cost kicks in.

     Here's what I'm waiting for. I want the cable companies to come out with a minutes plan, like you can get for your cellphone. Not that I have a cellphone. Good grief, I really am a dinosaur. But I digress.

     I only want to pay for the TV I actually use. Let's say I choose the Kilo plan - a thousand minutes a month. About half an hour a day. Just enough to catch the news, or, if I skip a few days, maybe enjoy a drama or sitcom. It would force me to choose my TV time very carefully. To wisely plan ahead, to watch with purpose and discretion because when my minutes are gone, the set goes black until next month. I suppose this would be an invitation to civil war in many households, but can you think of a better way to teach kids to budget? Television producers would soon learn what people REALLY want to see, because there would be no more televisions droning in the background half-watched, unwatched, or inappropriately watched.

     Am I crazy? Who's with me?