Of Friendship and Gratitude and Spa Days...

What do you do when you have a significant life achievement to celebrate?

What do you do when there’s something you’ve always wanted to do but you’re too chicken to do alone?

What’s the best way to thank a friend for free professional services?

The answer to these three seemingly unrelated questions is the same: you kill all three birds by taking said friend for a day at the spa!

My photographer friend Gayle has been taking my head shots for years, free of charge, in hopes that one day her work would show up in her author friend Terrie’s published novel. When that day finally arrived this past January, I knew it was time for celebration. And gratitude. And, since she’d already experienced the spa, I knew Gayle could walk me through it so I wouldn’t feel like the complete idiot novice I was, wandering around lost, not knowing how it all worked, and inadvertently eating the sugar scrub. All I had to do was foot the bill and book the appointment. Then call to reschedule the appointment. Then call to reschedule THAT appointment.

Can't believe how good we look. Oh wait. That might not  actually be us.

When life finally settled down enough for us to actually get to the spa, it was heavenly! Hours of sitting around in fluffy bathrobes, sipping tea and chatting; soaking our stress away in a mineral pool, hot tub, and sauna; getting tucked into cozy beds for facials; being served lovely snacks and lunch; sharing witty repartee with the gregarious ladies who did our nails, all while listening to relaxing music and catching up on one another’s lives. What’s not to love?

So why was I conflicted between relishing the treat and feeling guilty over such extreme indulgence?

I had no problem with my gift to Gayle. After all, she had earned it and more! But why did it seem like such a stretch to believe I might also be worth it?

If you’re a hardworking mom who’s grown used to putting herself last, you can probably relate. Journalist Kristin Wong says when we’re overwhelmed with life, self-care is often the first thing to go. But self-care isn’t merely a good idea. It’s crucial. As she points out, “self-care prevents overload burnout, reduces the negative effects of stress, and helps you refocus. Breaks are the epitome of self-care, and studies show they’re great for helping you perform better.”

Gayle and I both found it a challenge to simply relax for the 15 minutes our facial masks took to work their magic. What time is it? Aren’t the 15 minutes up yet? When is that girl coming back? Shouldn’t we be moving on to the next thing?

That’s when we decided it’s actually good discipline for us to go to the spa. Being pampered teaches us to relax, and relaxing is a discipline right up there with exercise and a healthy diet.

I like that theory, don’t you?

Done to Death

It takes a village to stage a madcap mystery.

You’re in for some sheer lunacy and a roller-coaster ride of antics if you attend the Prairie Players’ upcoming production of Done to Death, written by Fred Carmichael. (At one point, Carmichael writes himself into the play, but few of the characters have heard of him.) Directed by Paul Oleynick, Done to Death features a cast of 17 plus one pre-taped celebrity in the mix (Broadcasting Hall of Famer Boyd Kozak. You probably listened to him on CKRC back in the day, or more recently on CFQX. I hope I haven’t spoiled the surprise.) 

Along with some veteran actors, you’ll see several fresh, young faces on the stage for this show. Bravo to the Prairie Players for mentoring the youth of our community in this way.

The plot of the play focuses on five has-been mystery writers who are brought to the secretive Vulture’s Vault to collaborate on a new murder mystery TV series. Then real murders start to happen (naturally), and hilarity ensues. The play is a huge parody of the murder mystery genre as each writer uses their own style in hopes of solving the murders. It often delves into fantasy sequences and “breaking the fourth wall,” so prepare to engage!

The five writers are portrayed by Nita Wiebe and Gord Holm (as Jessica and Whitney Olive), Fran Myles (as Mildred Z. Maxwell), Elliot Neudorf (as Brad Benedict), and Terry Tully (as Rodney Duckton). The remaining cast is comprised of Cali Paige Sproule (whose understudy is Megan Anderson), Ashely Anderson, Preston Meier, Travis Roberts, Iris Jones, Jennifer Rey, Tessa Lupkowski, Shaina Dyck, Larry Lepla, Amber Blume, and Brianne Klassen.

This clever piece should be a real hoot for fans of whodunits, since it’s a parody of every stereotypical (and not so typical) murder mystery plot, hero, and villain used in the last century. Done to Death has been performed by community, school, and professional theatre groups since its first production in 1970.

I sat in on a rehearsal specifically so I could tell you about it and concluded that this might be the wackiest production we’ve seen from the Prairie Players yet. And I mean that in the nicest way. Just when you think you’ve figured things out, the story takes another silly turn. Which means Jessica Olive’s quotable line may be the most appropriate of the whole play: “Hang on, darling audience. It can't get much worse.”

My predictions for the lines you’ll like best? Here are my top five:

“I’ve never fooled myself.”

“I’d just as soon kiss a dry sponge.”

“No one can predict reality.”

“Always say ‘him or her.’ Never narrow the field until you are certain.”

And, my personal favourite: “You can’t kill the author! That’s shooting the hand that types you.”

If you want to know who’s going to die next and whether or not the butler did it, you’ll need to see the play for yourself. It happens at the William GlesbyCentre, 11 2nd St. NE, Portage la Prairie, On April 28, 29, and 30, 2016 at 8:00 p.m. Doors open at 7:30. Tickets are reserved seating and can be purchased in advance or at the door for $15.00. Call the Glesby at 204-239-4848.

How to be Your Own Selfish Pig

Hubby took a road trip with our oldest grandson over spring break while I stayed home. I know some folks for whom being left home alone would feel like punishment akin to a root canal. 

I am not one of those folks.

Sure, I had to go to work each morning. But once I left the office, my life was mine. I could sleep when I wanted, as much as I wanted, in a blissfully quiet house. A house, I might add, that stayed clean. I could eat what I wanted, when I wanted, and if I wanted. Truth be told, I lived on granola and salad and leftover Easter chocolate. Didn’t cook even once, unless you count microwave popcorn or boiling the kettle for tea.

The shower, the phone, and Netflix were always available to me exclusively. I binged on Downton Abbey. I could think my own thoughts without interruption and talk to myself with no one to eavesdrop. I rolled up the Welcome mat and exchanged it for one that said “I’m in here. You’re out there. Let’s keep it that way for a while.”

In short, I discovered that when you’re alone you can be completely selfish without inconveniencing anyone.

To be fair, not once did I need to shovel snow or mow grass. My vehicle didn’t break down. The toilet didn’t plug and the water heater kept heating water. Had any of those—or a dozen other possible catastrophes—happened, I’d have been only too happy to hasten Hubby’s homecoming. (At our house, the distribution of tasks is pretty traditional.)

But it also confirmed what I already knew: deep down, I’m an introvert. Not everyone enjoys time alone so much. Faced with a week like mine, a more extroverted person would have been going squirrely, maybe going out to clubs or the gym or Walmart just to hang around people. Maybe even to church!

Being introverted is not to be confused with feeling shy or uncomfortable in a crowd, necessarily. It simply means we gain energy from time alone, while hanging around people drains us. It often means we’re more comfortable giving a speech than mingling with our listeners afterwards. We can stand on stage and play a role in front of an audience, but making small talk with someone we don’t know well is torture. Many of us love to write but detest talking on the phone. We feel lonely at social events but never when we’re alone.

 

Are you more introverted or extroverted?

Neither personality holds a monopoly on self-centeredness, nor do any of us really need instructions for being our own selfish pig. It’s a skill we’re pretty much born with, of course. It’s kindness and consideration that need to be learned. How to serve others by putting their needs first.

Here’s my point. As long as I’m alone, it’s easy to think I’m pretty swell. If I’d never had siblings or roommates or a spouse or kids, I might have waltzed through life believing I was a perfectly lovely person and never uncovered the ugly truth that I don’t have an unselfish bone in my body. 

But it’s in community where we are called to live, because that’s where, like the book of Proverbs says, “as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”