Why Gratitude is Selfish

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. Without even reading it, I suspect I probably do at least twelve of the things mentally strong people don’t. 

I did, however, read her online article called “7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude that will Motivate You to Give Thanks Year-Round.” 

In the article, she lists things like how gratitude opens doors to more relationships, improves physical, mental, and psychological health and strength, helps you sleep better, improves self-esteem, enhances empathy, and reduces aggression. She backs up all these claims with study results published in various research papers and journals.

Most of us don’t have any trouble believing the claims. It’s the practicing of it that proves challenging. Her article suggests keeping a gratitude journal, where you take a few minutes each night before bed to jot down three things you’re grateful for. I used to do that, and I’m not sure why I quit. Probably because after awhile, my entries all looked the same. After a year or two, it felt too much like reciting a rhyming prayer that eventually becomes meaningless.

But if a grateful attitude is truly that good for me—and for the world around me—I really do desire to cultivate it. Here are a couple of ideas I’m trying to practice.

In the shower each morning, I review the little things we take for granted every day like clean, hot water readily available, a roof over my head, food to eat and clothes to wear. Electricity. A vehicle to drive. Someone to repair said vehicle when it refuses to work.

Then, on my twelve-minute walk to work, I think of situations unique to my life for which I can feel grateful. Relatively good health, the reality that I can walk to work at all, the fact that I have a job at all…the gift of writing and opportunities to use it. This is also a good time to look at the world around me and be thankful for decent roads, the infrastructure beneath them, for crosswalks and organized traffic rules and drivers who (mostly) obey them.

On the walk home after work, I can focus on the people in my life. Family, obviously. But have I been grateful for others today? My co-workers? The clerk who checks my groceries or the guy who pumps my gas? The crew who picks up my garbage and recycling? What about my pastor, who works hard to bring a meaningful message week after week?

Gratitude may not come naturally, but selfishness does. And since being grateful enriches my life, I figure that makes it a self-centered practice. That should make it easy, right?

Well, maybe not. But anything can become habitual with repetition. So, let’s keep at it, shall we? The Apostle Paul said, “He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.”

And Zig Ziglar said, “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.”

Happy Thanksgiving!