Flower Power

A lot of my female friends agree when I say I would rather receive an occasional single flower throughout the year on “nothing days” than a predictable bouquet of roses on Valentine’s Day or an anniversary.

A lot of my female friends also agree that announcing this preference results in no flowers at all.

So, when winter drags on with its cold, dark days, there’s nothing like some posies to brighten my world. On a recent visit to the grocery store, I decided to splurge.

The vibrant arrangement that immediately caught my eye was a mix of coral-tipped yellow roses, purple carnations, red Gerbera daisies, greens, yellows, and more. Too gorgeous for words and no price tag in sight. I asked an employee, “how much for this bouquet?”

“$39.99.”

Ouch. Too much. I felt sure my guilty conscience would not allow me to enjoy those flowers. I picked out a blooming plant instead, which sold for $12. Besides, I told myself. It’s potted, so it will last longer. Much more practical.

As I pushed it up and down the aisles in the child seat of my cart, however, I couldn’t forget about the other bouquet. The one I really wanted. The arguments in my brain swirled:

Can you fully enjoy this one knowing you’ve ‘settled?’ If not, why bother at all?

Oh c’mon. You deserve it.

You’ve always hated the notion of ‘deserving’ anything. You have already received far more than you could ever deserve.

Stop feeling guilty. Some women spend this much on booze or cigarettes every week.

Maybe donating the money to charity would give you a bigger lift.

Stop overthinking it!

With reckless abandon, I dashed to the produce section, returned the potted plant to its shelf, and prepared to walk away. Then I abruptly paused long enough to grab the bouquet I wanted all along and hustled over to the cashier line before I could change my mind.

The customer ahead of me saw them lying on the conveyor belt. “Gorgeous flowers.”

“Right?” I said. “A little touch of spring.”

“How much are they?” she asked.

I cringed. “Forty bucks.”

“Oh, but so worth it.”

I smiled. “Thank you for saying so. I was feeling a little guilty.”

“Hey, you deserve it.”

I’d never met this woman in my life, but she somehow believed I deserved those flowers. “If anyone tries to give you a hard time about it, you tell them you’re worth it.”

“Well, the only one who would give me a hard time is myself,” I said.

“Then you tell yourself!” she insisted. “We women have to treat ourselves once in a while. Hey, if it’ll get you through the winter, know what I mean? We give and give and give. Am I right?”

Words I’d never say but had surely thought. I smiled and blinked back a tear. “Thank you,” I managed to whisper. Sometimes God sends his little messages through strangers, but always right when you need them most. 

I took those flowers home, put them in my biggest vase, and displayed them on the dining table. The next day I divvied them among five smaller vases so I could enjoy them all over the house. As I continued to trim and cull, those flowers cheered my home for more than two weeks. A great investment! 

If your doctor prescribed forty dollars’ worth of medication, you’d cough up the money and fill the prescription, wouldn’t you? Do it for your mental health. If you need permission, here’s mine. You’re worth it.