How is this Okay?

Have you noticed how often men are made to look stupid in commercials? With my radio on as I worked around my kitchen one day, I counted three ads within an hour that all used some variation of the same worn-out trope. Hubby is trying to repair or accomplish something. Wife advises him to call Business X or to purchase Product Y. Hubby refuses, insisting he’s got things under control. Except he doesn’t. By the time the 15 or 30-second spot ends, he realizes he should have listened to his wife in the first place.

Can you imagine if they flipped the script? Hubby suggests calling the plumber or the designer or the realtor but the wife resists because she can handle it herself. Then the dilemma blows up in her face and she acknowledges her husband had the better idea. How well would an ad like that be received?

I recently read the script for a stage play called The Smell of the Kill by Michele Lowe, described on its webpage as a “tantalizing new comedy that had Broadway audiences cheering.” In the play, a cast of three women complain about their husbands (who remain offstage). Granted, the men have behaved badly, so viewers naturally side with the wives. But when the husbands accidentally lock themselves into a frozen meat locker, the wives spend the remainder of the play trying to decide whether to free them or to let nature take its course so they can rid themselves of the losers. They discuss the pros and cons, arguing their points while the audience howls. Eventually, the women decide to vote.

A dark comedy, for sure. I understand that. I just can’t help wondering how much the audience would laugh if we reversed the roles. Imagine if some community theatrical company somewhere, miraculously, had more male than female members and decided to flip the script so that the wives were locked up and the husbands debated about leaving them to die? No matter that the wives had committed the exact same crimes as the men in the original version. I suspect you’d hear howling at that play, too, but not howls of laughter. Who would dare?

It’s a double standard. I understand—sort of—why we’re okay with it. Women have been trodden upon for millennia, therefore men became fair game. I get it. But how does belittling men elevate women? If anything, such scenarios make women look like children and keep us down. If it’s equality women want, then humor needs to be equally funny (or not funny) either way it’s portrayed.

This is one reason I love Jesus so much. I’m a woman who has wanted to throw her Bible across the room when I’ve read how horribly women were abused in the Old Testament, seemingly while God gives a thumbs-up. Then, in the New Testament, Jesus comes along and changes the landscape. He treats women with kindness and dignity. He grants them protection. He engages them in meaningful conversation. After his resurrection, he appears first to women, fully knowing their reports will be dismissed merely because they’re female. He tells us that if we want to know what our heavenly Father is truly like, we should look at Jesus—not at his creepy, misogynistic forefathers. The more we become like Him, the more we will respect our fellow human beings, regardless of gender.

The Battle of the Sexes will not go away simply because I decided to rant, but we need to remember that sexism works both ways. If we’re not okay with the one, why are we okay with the other?