Even If

Are you the type of person who chooses a theme word or phrase for the year? Something you can use to anchor yourself, to aim for, to help find meaning in life’s ups and downs? I’ve tried this a few times but by spring, I’ve usually forgotten it. This year, when I wasn’t particularly looking for one, a phrase chose me. It grabbed at my heartstrings when a certain song came on CHVN radio one day.

For this to make sense to you, I need to back up a bit.

I’m currently writing a two-book fiction series called the “Even If” series (although each book would stand alone).

Book One, Even If We Cry, will release this November from Mountain Brook Ink. It’s about the British children who evacuated to Canada during World War II and some of the things they, their parents in England, and their host families here went through. I’m currently working on edits.

Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=14805503

Book Two, Even If I Perish, releases in the fall of 2025. I’m about one-third through the first draft and up to my eyeballs in research. It’s based on the true story of a little-known heroine, Mary Cornish. Mary was one of the few survivors of the ship, The City of Benares, sunk by a German torpedo while carrying 90 children on one of these evacuation voyages. Mary survived eight days as the only female in a lifeboat meant for 24 people but packed with 46. Six of those people were young boys whom Mary was determined to keep alive at any cost.

My publishing contract includes the possibility of two more books in the series. You can see why the words, “even if,” have been jumping out every time I hear or see them.

Like you, I’ve known my share of faith-shaking hard times. Maybe I’m simply forgetful, but it truly seems as though 90 percent of those faith shakers have occurred in the last five years. You too? Some family stuff, some career stuff, some world-at-large stuff.

So I shouldn’t have been surprised when, driving down the street one day, the words of this song from Rend Collective caught my attention:

“I’ll find a way to praise You from the bottom of my broken heart
’Cause I think I’d rather strike a match than curse the dark…”

Can you relate? The singer goes on to say he’d rather take a chance on hope than fall apart. Is falling apart the only alternative? Surrendering to the dark? He decides no. That’s when the resounding chorus breaks in, with the repeating phrase which so perfectly applies to drifters in a lifeboat on a cold and raging sea in the middle of the night … and which nailed it for me:
“Even if my daylight never dawns
Even if my breakthrough never comes
Even if I’ll fight to bring You praise
Even if my dreams fall to the ground
Even if I’m lost, I know I’m found
… my heart will somehow say, ‘Hallelujah’ anyway.”

Faith does frequently feel like a big gamble, doesn’t it? Some people wonder why, if it’s really true, do we believers need to constantly convince and remind each other and ourselves, even if current evidence isn’t supporting our beliefs.

It’s a valid question. The only answer I can offer is the Bible’s definition of faith: the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. (See Hebrews 11.)

Many thanks to songwriters Chris Llewellyn, Matt Maher, and Gareth Gilkeson for giving us this wonderfully personal song, and giving me my phrase for the year. You can hear the whole song HERE.

Breaking My Own Rules

I have a confession to make. After publishing a column a few weeks ago about the importance of local shopping, I confess that I make an exception when it comes to which radio station I listen to most. Why? Because I am a needy person.

It’s not that I never listen to local radio. One of our hometown stations plays at work all day. Another plays in my bedroom as I dress in the mornings so I can hear the weather report and know how many layers of clothing I’ll need.

But I’m too needy for those stations.

Some days I really need courage.

Some days I need comfort.

Some days I need to know I’m not alone.

Some days I need a kick in the butt to do the right thing.

Some days I need mending for my broken heart.

Some days I need to know it will all be worth it.

Some days I need to know there’s a source of all wisdom.

Some days I need to be more compassionate.

Some days I need reminding that I am loved.

Maybe you never need those things, but I do. And songs can be powerful in pointing me in the right or wrong direction. I don’t know about you, but I have not learned how to draw hope from Blake Shelton when he sings “Man, if I have one, I have 13. And they can’t get me off the karaoke machine.” Or Tyler Shaw telling me how wicked I am when I work it out or Simple Plan’s declaration, “You don’t remember my name…but I don’t want to go to bed without you.” Or Dierks Bentley feeling free to tell a young woman whose name he doesn’t even know that she’s driving him wild in her blue jeans.

Good for her. I guess.

Too much of that and frankly, I’m just depressed.

On the other hand, when I hear words like this from FrancescaBattistelli, I’m left feeling like I’ve been touched by deep truth:

“Bring your brokenness, and I’ll bring mine, ‘Cause love can heal what hurt divides.
And mercy’s waiting on the other side — If we’re honest… If we’re honest.”

And wouldn’t you feel more courageous, more loved, to hear the following?
“Your love, in wave after wave crashes over me…for You are for us, You are not against us,

Champion of Heaven, You made a way for all to enter in, You make me brave.”  (from Amanda Cook)

Lately, these words from Lauren Daigle’s song Trust in You give me strength to face the day:

“You are my strength and comfort, You are my steady hand, You are my firm foundation; the rock on which I stand. Your ways are always higher, Your plans are always good. There’s not a place where I’ll go, You’ve not already stood.”

And wouldn’t the following words breathe new life into anyone, whether they believe in Jesus or not?

“… you’re bruised and beaten, and you feel defeated…This goes out to the heaviest heart.
Oh, to everyone who’s hit their limit: It’s not over yet, It’s not over yet. And even when you think you’re finished, it’s not over yet. Keep on fighting, out of the dark into the light. It’s not over, hope is rising, never give in, never give up…” (It’s Not Over Yet by For King and Country.)

That’s why if you climb into my car or join me while I’m working around my kitchen, you’ll almost always hear CHVNRadio out of Winnipeg. They play these and so many more life-giving songs.

And I’m just needy like that.