By
the time this column appears on your doorstep or online, I’ll be in Calgary.
For an entire week, I’ll have sole care of our two youngest grandsons, ages two
and four, while their parents take a much-needed break somewhere warm.
I
started a list of coping strategies well in advance. Once we’ve all survived
the week—assuming we do—I’ll let you know how well they worked. Do you have any
to add?
1.
Cook no adult meals. Get a list of stuff the boys will
actually eat.
Why waste time and effort preparing meat and vegetables only to coax minuscule
bites into reluctant little mouths? They—and I—can survive quite nicely for a
week on peanut butter sandwiches or Kraft Dinner or whatever their parents put
on the list.
2. Take
your showers at night after they’re in bed because they’ll rise before you.
Although I am an early riser, I’ve learned from previous visits that these boys
have me beat. Trying to stick to my morning shower regime will only lead to
frustration. I can adapt. For a week.
3. Lie
down during their nap no matter how messy the house.
My natural tendency is to rip around like a maniac while the kids sleep just to
stay on top of the housework. If I’m going to survive, I need to kick my obsessive-compulsive
habits to the curb and make staying on top of my own energy level a priority.
4. Clean
the kitchen only once per day, after they’re in bed.
See point number three.
5. Pack
along some little surprises for them, maybe one per day to look forward to. Ten
dollars at MCC bought me a week’s worth of new-to-them books, toys, and
puzzles. Along with this, a little chart showing how many days remain might prove
helpful.
6. Try
to take them outside for a bit every day. Calgary is famous
for its warm chinooks, but the temperatures could also drop to minus forty. A
blizzard could hit. Three feet of snow could fall, leaving only me to shovel
the driveway. I’ll pray for chinooks.
7. Have
enough coffee and hazelnut creamer on hand. I’m normally a
one-cup-per-day gal, but keeping other people’s children alive and well calls
for extreme measures. I may need two cups. Sacrificing my caffeine in this
coffee-less home would be stupid. As for the hazelnut creamer, what’s the point
of coffee without it?
8. See
if their mom can leave behind perfume or lotion to use so you smell like her.
You never know what might comfort the boys, and I’m certainly not opposed to
subconscious methods if they work. Can’t hurt…unless it only makes them miss
her more.
9. When
your daughter asks if she should cancel the babysitter for her usual
one-day-per-week, say no. Getting the boys to the sitter’s
house is nerve-wracking for this scaredy-cat city driver, but by midweek, I’m
going to need the break. And forcing myself to drive outside my comfort zone
will do me good.
10. Most
important of all, DO NOT skip your prayer and scripture
time even if you must do it at night. You’ll need it to keep your cool. Temper
tantrums are not limited to toddlers.
It occurs to me as I strategize
that many people in our world care for grandchildren full time. Sometimes by
choice, but often it’s from the crises created by drugs, mental illness, or
AIDS. Those grandparents don’t get breaks. They can’t provide a new surprise
every day. A cup of coffee or a nap isn’t going to cut it. They need our
prayers, our support, and our compassion. If my week makes me more empathetic,
it will be seven days well spent.
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