The Results are In

Readers have asked how my week of babysitting our two little grandsons went. Did my coping strategies work? A quick review of my list revealed some things.

1.     Cook no adult meals. I found the best way to sneak vegetables into little tummies was in smoothies and homemade soups. I ate what they ate and returned home craving a big ol’ salad.

2.     Take your showers at night. The only other option was not showering at all. Which was no option at all.

3.     Lie down during their nap. Easier than anticipated because I was so exhausted.

4.     Clean the kitchen only once per day, after they’re in bed. It seemed I was cleaning the kitchen constantly because they eat six times a day.

5.     Pack along little surprises for them. I highly recommend this! It became a highlight of each day for the boys to wait on mama’s bed while I brought out their boxes of little wrapped gifts and let them choose one. What I couldn’t have predicted was that God had a surprise gift for me each day, too. (Read on.)

6.     Try to take them outside for a bit every day. Our outings were limited in the coldest week of the year in Calgary, but I tried. It’s hard to stay motivated when it takes 15 minutes to bundle everyone up knowing you can stay outside for only ten.

7.     Have enough coffee and hazelnut creamer on hand. Well, this goes without saying.

8.     See if their mom can leave behind perfume to use so you smell like her. I did use a little of her lotion, but I couldn’t tell whether it made a difference.

9.     When your daughter asks if she should cancel the babysitter for her usual one-day-per-week, say no. Guess what? I cancelled the sitter myself. Not that we didn’t all need a break. I chickened out of driving the kids over there despite two practice runs with my daughter in the vehicle before she left. The combination of a strange car with a manual transmission, strange city, ice, and the world’s most precious cargo in the backseat— plus the whole bundling and strapping into car seats routine—was a perfect storm. I couldn’t do it. Less stress to stay home. I’m not proud of it. This may fill a whole column by itself, another week.

10.  Most important of all, DO NOT skip your prayer and scripture time. Nightly, God amazed me with the precise scriptures I needed most. This was not planned. I didn’t say, “Today I’m feeling weary, let’s find Bible verses about weariness.” Not at all. I used the same reading guide I’ve been using for years. I had no idea what each day’s passage held for me. Look at this:

When I felt tired: Isaiah 40— “God will not grow tired or weary…He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” And Galatians 6—“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest…”

On the day the water heater quit: James 1—“Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds…the testing of your faith develops perseverance…”

When my patience with the children wore thin: James 5—“Be patient…”

There’s more, but you get the idea. You can’t make this stuff up. No one can tell me God’s word is not alive and powerful and sharper than any sword. (James 4). I’ve experienced it. New every morning—and every evening, too.

Grandma’s Top Ten Coping Strategies

By the time this column appears on your doorstep or online, I’ll be in Calgary. For an entire week, I’ll have sole care of our two youngest grandsons, ages two and four, while their parents take a much-needed break somewhere warm.

I started a list of coping strategies well in advance. Once we’ve all survived the week—assuming we do—I’ll let you know how well they worked. Do you have any to add?

1.     Cook no adult meals. Get a list of stuff the boys will actually eat. Why waste time and effort preparing meat and vegetables only to coax minuscule bites into reluctant little mouths? They—and I—can survive quite nicely for a week on peanut butter sandwiches or Kraft Dinner or whatever their parents put on the list.

2.     Take your showers at night after they’re in bed because they’ll rise before you. Although I am an early riser, I’ve learned from previous visits that these boys have me beat. Trying to stick to my morning shower regime will only lead to frustration. I can adapt. For a week.

3.     Lie down during their nap no matter how messy the house. My natural tendency is to rip around like a maniac while the kids sleep just to stay on top of the housework. If I’m going to survive, I need to kick my obsessive-compulsive habits to the curb and make staying on top of my own energy level a priority.

4.     Clean the kitchen only once per day, after they’re in bed. See point number three.

5.     Pack along some little surprises for them, maybe one per day to look forward to. Ten dollars at MCC bought me a week’s worth of new-to-them books, toys, and puzzles. Along with this, a little chart showing how many days remain might prove helpful.

6.     Try to take them outside for a bit every day. Calgary is famous for its warm chinooks, but the temperatures could also drop to minus forty. A blizzard could hit. Three feet of snow could fall, leaving only me to shovel the driveway. I’ll pray for chinooks.

7.     Have enough coffee and hazelnut creamer on hand. I’m normally a one-cup-per-day gal, but keeping other people’s children alive and well calls for extreme measures. I may need two cups. Sacrificing my caffeine in this coffee-less home would be stupid. As for the hazelnut creamer, what’s the point of coffee without it?

8.     See if their mom can leave behind perfume or lotion to use so you smell like her. You never know what might comfort the boys, and I’m certainly not opposed to subconscious methods if they work. Can’t hurt…unless it only makes them miss her more.

9.     When your daughter asks if she should cancel the babysitter for her usual one-day-per-week, say no. Getting the boys to the sitter’s house is nerve-wracking for this scaredy-cat city driver, but by midweek, I’m going to need the break. And forcing myself to drive outside my comfort zone will do me good.

10.  Most important of all, DO NOT skip your prayer and scripture time even if you must do it at night. You’ll need it to keep your cool. Temper tantrums are not limited to toddlers.

It occurs to me as I strategize that many people in our world care for grandchildren full time. Sometimes by choice, but often it’s from the crises created by drugs, mental illness, or AIDS. Those grandparents don’t get breaks. They can’t provide a new surprise every day. A cup of coffee or a nap isn’t going to cut it. They need our prayers, our support, and our compassion. If my week makes me more empathetic, it will be seven days well spent.