When Emotions Collide

 I had a car accident last week.

No one was hurt.

But you know me. I can’t let a single episode of my life remain unheralded. I can’t resist tracking my emotions, examining what might be learned, seeking something to gain. I was mentally drafting this blog post ten seconds after the airbags deployed.

So, here goes.

On my way to pick up Hubby from work, I decided to stop at the post office to check our mailbox. As I waited to turn left, the oncoming car in the inside lane stopped. I could have sworn the driver was waving me through, which in hindsight seems ludicrous and even if he was, I knew better. Cars piling up behind me added to the pressure. 

I went. When I saw the oncoming car in the curb lane, I stepped on the gas. Too late.

WHAM!

Thoughts in the next several split seconds, in random order:

Oh no.

I’ll be late picking up Jon.

Am I hurt?

What smells like burnt matches?

What do I do now?

A beautiful face appeared in my windshield. “Are you okay?”

I nodded but couldn’t speak.

My door opened and a man materialized. “You’re in big trouble, Lady.”

“I know. I’m so sorry.” I managed to say. “Were you in the other vehicle?”

“Yes.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

I assumed the two were together. I was wrong. The understandably angry man was passing through town. The lady with the lovely face and calming demeanor was local resident Kim Espey, who witnessed the collision. She stuck around while Angry Man and I exchanged information, then stayed with me until Angry Man drove away and my tow truck came. Then my friend Gloria appeared and waited with me until Hubby arrived. Should I be surprised that these two heaven-sent angels both have years of experience as first responders?

I spent the rest of that Monday mad at myself for making such a foolish move and seriously inconveniencing several people. If I had a dollar for every “if only” marching through my brain, I’d have enough to replace my car.

Tuesday, I filed the insurance claim. My anger changed to sadness as I realized my car would be written off—the same car my mother gave me less than two years ago when she valiantly decided it was time to give up driving. I’ve never been one to become attached to vehicles, but I cherished that car for the love it represented.

Wednesday morning, I moved on to guilt. How could I have been so reckless? I clearly don’t deserve good things.

That afternoon, I received a swift and fair offer from our insurance. I began to shift into gratitude.

Thursday, we retrieved our personal belongings and saw our damaged car one last time. All emotions hopped on board for this leg of the journey, but humility took the driver’s seat.

Humility continued to drive on Friday morning when our good friends, the Bakers, dropped off their car for us to borrow while we hunt for a different one. Having others trust you with their vehicle when you’ve just wrecked your own is a humbling experience.

So far, here’s what I’ve learned:

· Do NOT succumb to pressure from traffic behind you when you know better.

· The smell was nitrogen gas from the airbags.

· Seatbelts can leave abrasive burns and bruises, but that means they’ve done their job.

· My loss-of-use coverage becomes void the minute my insurance company makes an offer on my vehicle (not when I sign off on it.)

· Like insurance paperwork, all emotions need to work their way through your system, whether they’re logical or not.

· Above all, I have a million things for which to feel grateful. I’ve decided to focus on those while we hunt for a different car.